The Soulmate conversation is fascinating and complicated. You will find differing opinions depending on who you are speaking to. The subject of love is complex because it may very well be the most sought-after experience on this planet. We are all individuals, and we find love in different ways; we feel love in different ways. All of this is based on our personal experiences, things we have witnessed, movies and TV shows, celebrities, religions… and so on… I cannot speak to what is correct because I don’t know. What I can do is share what I have learned and how it plays into the way I curated my Soulmate Readings.
As long as I can remember, my dad has said, “love is a verb”, it’s not a feeling, it’s an action. Of course, this frustrated me because I was a young girl who craved romance. I was raised on fairytales, “as you wish,” and true love’s kiss. How could love be anything but a feeling? I am now a believer that love is a verb. From watching my little sister fall off the wagon over and over, the countless treatment centers, and the near-death experiences due to substance abuse, I struggled to find that warm and cozy feeling you have when you love someone. I knew in my mind that I loved her, I just was feeling other emotions bigger, I felt fear, frustration, impatience, anger, and exasperation. Yet I chose to love actively, as best as I could.
The moment I first saw my husband, I kid you not, it was like a thunderbolt into my heart, and I KNEW, I just knew that this man was meant to be in my life. Despite the fact that he had a ring on his finger, and I had one on mine. The timing was not right initially, but I could not let go of this “knowing” that he was my person. I had no rational reason to think this. Nevertheless, six years later we got married and will celebrate our tenth wedding anniversary this year.
Soulmates - Parent-Child
When my child was born, I did not feel love. I know it sounds barbaric, but who doesn’t instantly fall in love with their newborn? Me, hi, I’m the problem it’s me… (thanks Tay Tay for that song forever being on repeat in my brain.) Actually, it turns out I am far from the only one to not feel instant adoration for my spawn. I felt this would be the case, considering my lack of enthusiasm during my pregnancy. I had a very logical conversation with myself throughout the long gestation period where I made a deal with myself and with the baby. I decided that no matter how I felt, I would make sure that the baby felt loved by me. I prepared for a lifetime of pretending to love someone, choosing to act lovingly. Honestly, that probably was one of the most loving things I did, without feeling an ounce of the feeling you equate with love. I did grow to love my child, and in essentially falling in love, I began to learn what love meant to me. Without a shadow of a doubt, I can say that my child is one of my soulmates. Becoming a mother taught me more about love than anything else. While it taught me about sacrifices, it also taught me about self-care. While it taught me about patience, it also taught me about the value of quiet. I don’t think I have been truly bored in 13 years because my child became a part of my life’s purpose.
It was my child who opened my mind to the possibility of soulmates and reincarnation. They were three years old when they said, “Well when I was your mama…” and proceeded to explain their parenting skills, which were far better than mine. These little glimpses into another life often came until my kiddo started Kindergarten. (And this is about when I found out they saw auras and spirits.) I began to read about soul mates and past lives and became fascinated by the concept of soulmates, soulmate contracts, and twin flames.
Types of Soulmates
I was fascinated to find that having many soulmates is not only possible but common. A soulmate is someone you feel deeply connected to, and this relationship can be romantic or platonic. This bond is special. A soulmate may not be in your life for the entirety of it; they may come along at a certain time, maybe just in time to be supportive of you or be supported by you. It may be a quick but deep connection that runs its course in what seems like a blink of an eye, even though you feel a deep and lasting connection to them. You may find a soulmate in a mentor or teacher, and this relationship is completely platonic, and it may last years or only weeks. The same goes for romantic relationships. Your absolute best friend in the whole world is probably one of your soulmates.
What is a Soulmate Contract?
Soulmate contracts are often tied to two souls who have a karmic connection. A soulmate contract happens before we incarnate into a new body, and our souls make agreements. Ideally, these agreements are lessons for each soul, encouraging spiritual growth. Sometimes we have contracts with people based on karma. In a past life, we may have made agreements or decisions that earned us certain connections that may be unpleasant. These agreements are an opportunity to make better, healthier, more aligned decisions. Have you ever thought, “What did I ever do to deserve you?” You may be awed and grateful, or you feel as though the person is a punishment. Chances are - you have a contract with this person. I have a contract with my stepson. And it’s the most difficult relationship I have ever been in. And I have been in rough relationships, but this one is extremely challenging because I can’t get away from it, well not unless I want to leave my husband, which I do not. On a daily basis, I am faced with some of the deepest frustration and exasperation I have ever felt, and it feels unfair. I am constantly wondering why TF I agreed to this. Based on shadow work I believe I chose to be his stepmother in order to help his soul to do better this time, in this life. That or I am a masochist.
What is a Twin Flame?
A twin flame is something exponentially more special than a soulmate. Your Twin Flame is eternal. They are literally the other half of your soul, and when you find each other, it’s inexplicable the instant bond. Like you cannot live without this person. Now, this doesn’t mean this person is perfect; who is? And it doesn’t guarantee a perfect relationship, either. It means that your soul recognizes its other half. Does everyone have a twin flame? I believe the answer to this is yes; however, I do not believe we all reconnect with our twin flame in each lifetime. Some people don’t even feel the pull to find their other half, the work they have to do at this time doesn’t include this soul reunion. Sometimes one soul recognizes the other first and must wait until the other soul recognizes their soul back. This can be somewhat excruciating. Your other half may be in a relationship, which is what happened with me and mine. The timing was all wrong. This was confusing and painful, and it was years of aching before I was finally reunited with my soul’s twin. Even then, our relationship has never been perfect (you may imagine the struggle when my twin flame is the father of my most frustrating soul contract..), but I only know of a few couples who I believe have truly found their twin flame. Others have absolutely found soul partners and will live happily with them, but it’s not quite the same as a twin flame.
I once read that it would be cruel for us to be here and crave our twin flame when our twin flame is not here now, and I think there is a lot to be said about this. There is an ache, a deep ache that lives in the heart of those of us who are meant to find our other half in this lifetime. Not everyone feels this. If you simply found someone you jive with and feel happy in partnership with someone, that’s perfectly acceptable. It suggests that in this life, you have other work to do. Personally, I couldn’t even consider “doing the work” until my soul was made whole. I was given this peace in my heart and very quickly became an advocate for those who have suffered spiritual abuse and social justice after my soul's other half joined mine. Before… I was too empty; all I could think to do somewhat desperately was a search for my other half.
Love and Soulmates
As far as love being a verb and the existence of soulmates, both are true. I can't deny the deep feelings I have towards my twin flame or the fierce protection I feel for my child. Still, I choose to make loving choices even when I am angry or not feeling loving. We can love someone and hurt them, but it doesn't mean we don't feel love. My ex was abusive, but I know he loved me. Ultimately I left because I needed him to act lovingly. The feeling was not enough.
Soulmates and Love Readings
Find Your Soulmate Reading
I bring all of these thoughts in with me while I do my readings. I offer two “soulmate” readings and choose the appropriate one based on our first conversation. The first, and admittedly most popular, is the “Find Your Soulmate” reading. In this reading, we dive into what you truly seek in a relationship. You see, sometimes we aren’t aware or in denial about what will complete us.
Often I speak to clients who seem to think they want things that are not in true alignment with them. We psyche ourselves out a lot. Whether it’s because we honestly don’t even know ourselves (this is incredibly common, many people have pieced together parts of personalities based on what they think will be attractive to a future partner rather than becoming who they are so they can be a beacon for their future partner.), or we have experienced so much pain that we become too particular and picky, and refuse even to consider a partner that doesn’t meet particular qualifications. (Remember in Practical Magick, when Sally was little, she created a spell for her future partner and specifically made him impossible? His eyes were two different colors, and he could ride a pony backward… Some of you think you’re Sally Owens, and you’re not.) Not that I don’t want you to have standards - please do! I just don’t want you to miss out on love because he’s not 6’2, or she isn’t a natural blond. So we should get to the bottom of what you honestly desire and what is the best fit for you.
From here we move on to other critical questions like “what do I need to do to be ready to welcome the right partner into my life?” Often people are so worried about their future partner that they are not recognizing where they need to make changes in order to create space for this relationship. This whole reading is deep, and you’ve got to be prepared for a very real conversation. I don’t do “surface” readings. I call myself a Tarotpist for a reason. If you truly want answers, you’ll have to be open and honest. Maybe not with me, but at the very least, with yourself.
Are You My Soulmate?/Mr. or Mrs. Right or Right Now?
The second Soulmate reading I offer is the “Are You My Soulmate?” reading. I also call it “Mr./Mrs. Right, or Right Now?” This reading is for someone who already has an idea or at least a hope that a specific person is their soulmate. We use Tarot to discern whether this is platonic or going to be a romantic relationship, and if it already is, we discern whether it will last. Remember what I shared about soulmates, sometimes we are meant to have certain relationships for a specific period of time, and that timing was divine, it just wasn’t meant to be forever. My clients do not like it when I say this, we have been brainwashed by Disney to seek our forever partner, but we do not appreciate the relationships that bring us to our next committed partnership.
Have you heard Ariana Grande’s song “Thank U, Next”? While we don’t generally like our exes, they served a purpose. Maybe they are in your life to teach you how to stand up for yourself or how you do or don’t like to be treated. Maybe they taught you how to enjoy certain things in bed or what you do not ever want to bring to the bedroom ever again. Your ex may have checked boxes that you considered integral, only to find that you don’t want that trait in your partner after all. Is there a value that you can find in your past relationships?
Yes, I know, some of you are like, “But what about my Mr. or Mrs. Right? I am tired of waiting!” Calm down, Carrie Bradshaw, I’m getting to that. In this reading, if we find that this person is YOUR PERSON (for now or forever), we will focus on how to make the absolute best out of this relationship. We will find your struggles and how to work with them. We will take an honest look at what may need to change in order for this relationship to be successful.
Tarot Readers and Love Readings
A lot of Tarot readers are sick of love readings because our clients want to hear what they want to hear and won’t be vulnerable or honest with themselves or with us. It’s not that we don’t want to talk about love - it’s that you have preconceived notions, and I can’t rewire your brain.
- If you are ready to see what is required to find your soulmate, schedule a Find Your Soulmate reading with me.
- If you have a person in mind and want clarity on whether or not they are your soulmate, schedule an Are You My Soulmate? reading.
“I am naturally gifted as a confessor, conduit, and alchemizer, so when I connect with clients through Tarot, I am able to witness them as they are and hold space for them. Tarot is the tool to get passed the fluff and surface stuff, straight to the heart and root.”