A part of metaphysics that many don’t talk about is the healing aspect. It’s not cool or sexy. It can actually be quite painful and jarring. Every spiritual mentor I’ve had focused on healing for many reasons, but one of the reasons was always self-love.
In a recent discussion, a Cloud 9.5 team member said, “Most of life’s issues can be rooted in lack of self-love.” Ever since she said that I’ve been looking back on my life through hindsight, and I think she’s right. When I look back at situations where not speaking up for myself got me into a world of trouble. Trusting someone else over my own intuition has almost cost me my life on too many occasions. Giving too much of myself when I had nothing to give put dams in my money flow.
Spiritual Bypassing and Self-Love
Spiritual Bypassing is the avoidance and repression of oneself - in reference to the qualities we don’t like or know we need to improve. To cope, some people will nose dive into spirituality and religions to mask what needs to be healed. This is the number one reason my mentors pushed healing and self-love. Spiritual Bypassing is not healthy and defeats the purpose of spiritual growth or ascension - it also blocks spiritual growth and ascension.
“When spiritual practice is used to compensate for challenging traits such as low self-esteem, social isolation, or other emotional issues, Welwood said, they corrupt the actual use of spiritual practice. In other words, using these practices to cover up problems seems like an easy way out, as opposed to working on the actual issues and etiology of the challenges.”
- Diana Raab Ph.D., PSYCHOLOGY TODAY
Lack of self-love is directly related to emotional issues. Oftentimes people are raised in environments where they just don’t know how to love themselves. Their caretakers and people around them were probably raised the same way. As humans in this timeline, we still have generations of people among us who were raised on survival and not love. They were never loved or shown examples of what it means to love themselves.
Spiritual Bypassing is a way to hide what needs to be healed and to fill the self-love void with distractions. It’s like being hungry and getting a bag of potato chips and thinking it is going to fill you up based on the size of the bag and then forgetting that the bag is mostly air. Yes, you look like you are eating, but you are not getting full.
There are deep healing methods within spiritual modalities and religions. People who spiritually bypass purposefully avoid them and their practitioners. Deep spiritual healing requires people to face themselves - every corner, fold, and shadow. What is not revealed cannot be healed. So if someone is constantly avoiding activities, sessions, and people who make them face themselves, they will never be healed. However, they will have a good time doing surface activities, buying all the spiritual and religious supplies, and telling whoever will listen about the stuff they did. By Spiritual Bypassing, people miss out on the opportunities to genuinely grow.
As people in their peer groups do the deep inner work and evolve, the person who is Spiritually Bypassing will double down on the theatrics, righteousness and move on to new modalities and social circles to repeat everything until they decide to truly look within and do the inner work to:
- Become Self-Aware
- Heal Themselves
- Love Themselves
“Welwood said that many clients came to him with some impasse in their lives that their spiritual practice was unable to penetrate or help, whether a personality issue or a relationship problem. He was always amazed by the fact that although these individuals may have practiced sophisticated spiritual practices, they often did not practice self-love.”
- Diana Raab Ph.D., PSYCHOLOGY TODAY
Unconditional Self-Love Includes Shadow Work
Is self-love metaphysical? Yes - one of the most spiritual acts is being able to love who you are. Self-Love is metaphysical, spiritual, and loving yourself should be a religion.
A spiritual term for facing yourself, accepting yourself, loving yourself, and healing yourself is Shadow Work. It is the acts of:
- Getting to know exactly who you are
- The hidden parts of you and the parts you show the world
- The parts of yourself that you love
- Accepting who you are
- Loving who you are
- Healing who you are
The term Shadow Work sounds spooky and turns some people off, but this is self-love work and metaphysical work. The process and results are positively transformative. They are not easy and to most people, this feels like training for a marathon when you’ve spent most of your life being a couch potato.
Metaphysical activities are deeper than chants, and meditations, affirmations, and “staying positive.” Without the deep inner work, this metaphysical world is just people playing dress-up and regurgitating things they hear and read. You are your own individual soul having a powerful experience on Earth at this time. What is your soul’s journey? This is not about what the human did, but what the soul experienced. Has your soul ever experienced its true self?
“Neither can our inner lack of love be resolved by affirmations, creative visualizations, mindfulness, or meditation. We can look ourselves in the mirror in the morning and repeat, “I love you. You’re worthy of love” and still feel unlovable. That’s because we often miss the distinction between mundane love of the false self and divine love of the genuine self.”
- Pranada Comtois, THE NAMASTE COUNSEL
Steps to better self-love:
- Become aware
- Love what is there
30 Days to Unconditional Self-Love
I wrote this book to help people. This book is rated E for Everyone, but I had my caretakers, entrepreneurs, parents, lovers, the triggered and traumatized, Metaphysical Explorers, healers, shamans, witches, and woo-woo people in mind. Why? Because these are all groups of people who pour out so much of themselves to help others or those who lose so much of themselves just to make it through the day. If healing and self-love are not in check, the very things that you do in the name of helping or surviving will harm you.
No one is perfect, and sometimes we even break our own hearts, but we have to get up and rise again. Lack of self-love and broken hearts can kill you quickly or slowly. They can destroy your children, make you lose your creative spark, block your money flow and ignore the people who REALLY love you.
About The Author
"You either with me, or against me, or you in my way — Gucci Mane
Candace is living her Divine purpose in this lifetime of helping people awaken to themselves and their full potential. She sees herself as a bridge between the mainstream world and the spiritual world and can work with people from all levels of consciousness. Candace believes everyone is spiritually gifted and those gifts need to be accessed and uncovered. Her goal is to help people by providing clarification for their situations, getting them aligned with their goals, or helping them get closer to their true authentic selves.
As an author, artist, speaker and poet, she uses creative mediums to express spiritual expressions. Candace is a nature lover and creates products to bring people closer to nature and retreats to help people rediscover their authentic selves for personal evolution.
Creative: Books, Art, Poetry, Articles
Metaphysician: Divination/Readings, Retreats, Incense, Oils